Not sure about this? I remember I was about 10 years old and watched “Jurassic Park” at the movie theater. My older sister and my dad were watching with me. Halfway through the movie, when the velociraptor showed up, I burst into tears and had to leave the theater. My sister was really annoyed because she didn’t have the chance to see the ending of a movie she was really enjoying, while I had nightmares for several weeks after, about the velociraptor.
We were all in the same theater, watching the same movie, eating the same popcorn, and drinking the same drinks. They were enjoying themselves while I was never able to watch a dinosaur movie again.
What made the difference in the experience?
Focus.
If you want to dramatically improve your experience of life – change your focus.
In Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP), one of the main tenants is that “the map is not the territory.” What does this mean? That even though we may have one view of a situation, it does not mean that it is the only view that can be had. A map may show some points like streets, houses, rivers, or lakes, but it doesn’t show all of the terrain that you may encounter. Not all maps of the same area are the same. Why? Because the map is not the territory; it is one perspective.
When you change your perspective, you change your experience. Period. There are no exceptions to this.
Is this something that is easy to do?
Absolutely not. But is it possible? Absolutely.
The focus that I have today is radically different than in the past, and continues to change and evolve, as I change and evolve. As my perspective changes, so does my experience of my life.
But, I do remember being overly focused and overly attached to people or situations that were negative. It was difficult to take my mind off of these things.
It wasn’t until I had a huge “Aha!” that got my attention. We all have those pivotal moments in life where everything changes. Sometimes, it takes hitting the bottom before we can rise again.
As a result, my focus shifted to a new perspective. I forced myself to look at my circumstances differently. Rather than focusing on what I didn’t have, or what I wanted, I shifted my focus to gratitude and service to others. In the beginning, this was challenging. But with daily practice, focusing my attention on the things that I did have and was grateful for, my perspective started to shift. It was slow at first, but each day, it was easier.
Anything worth learning is hard in the beginning. We forget this as we grow older. When we are kids, everything in life is hard to learn and we are terrible at most things. Listen to a five-year-old play the piano for the first time, and you will quickly remember that usually, we are terrible at something in the beginning until we practice it – a lot!
Purposeful practice. Practicing while having self-compassion. This is a critical part of this process.
When you purposefully make time to not only notice what you are focused on but also make a conscious decision about what you are focused on. If you find yourself avoiding ownership of your thoughts, that is a clear sign that you would benefit from mindful awareness and focus.
As a result of daily, focused, practice, your experience of life will change for the better and bring you a more centered and peaceful experience of life.